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About Deviant Ethereal Images PhotographyFemale/United States Recent Activity
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by fb101

I absolutely love your depth of field here. I've always thought that DOF helps a photograph tell a story. The colors are fabulous. Her ...

I love this. The color is very warm and inviting and it sets off her skin and her hair nicely. I might have added a fill light (or dire...


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Ethereal Images Photography
United States
Current Residence: Underground bunker in the Arizona desert.
Favourite genre of music: Most music including Opera. Really good Blues and Jazz.
Favourite photographer: Ken Akers.
Favourite style of art: Photo-j. Fantasy, Abstract, Art Deco. Anything with real emotion.
Operating System: XP
MP3 player of choice: My brain. Always a song in there.
Shell of choice: The one you should crawl back into.
Wallpaper of choice: At the moment, British Red.
Skin of choice: Living.
Favourite cartoon character: Brian on Family Guy.
Personal Quote: Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

Timeless Deja Vu

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 21, 2010, 11:31 PM
I don't write here very often anymore.  In fact, I haven't much time to write, at all.  I just don't see the point of getting myself a "blogspot" or what have you.  I don't spend much time on DeviantArt anymore.  However, when I feel the need to write long, drawn out thoughts about nothing, this is where I turn.  Nobody reads them, anyhow.  ;)

My life, until recently, has been so amazing.  I've made a hundred different life changes and, most of them, were for the better.  It seems now that I have once again, made my own drama.  Somehow though, it's different this time.  Drama comes from high school and ... that's not where I am.

It's almost 11pm and I've had a 12 hour day and I'm exhausted, but I still need to say some things for my own peace of mind.  Why post my most intimate thoughts online?  Well...I have a nice community of friends here on dA and I value your comments, thoughts and opinions.  And, at least for me being who I am, it actually helps to know that others have felt exactly how I do right now.  When you feel so utterly alone, it's nice to not feel so alone.

So let's get to it.

I fell in love.  Surprise, surprise, right?  Well this isn't the same.  In fact, nothing in my life matches this.  That's so great, right?  Well...yeah.  It is.  The old me would tell you how negative it is because of the events to follow.  But that's not me anymore.

So I met a man, many, many years ago.  He was ... riveting.  I knew, the second I met him, that he was the love of my life.  There were complications that I'll leave out.  So about five years later, we begin slowly talking again, with more and more contact.  I'm in a relationship at the time that is miserably failing, no matter what I try to do.  In fact, I'm purposely avoiding my riveting man because I know what he is going to [inevitably] do to my world.

Well, I stopped avoiding him.  In about ten hours, we had expressed our love for each other and the fact that we *knew* that this was it.  I finally believed that crap about "when you know, you know."

A relationship ensues.  It was filled with so many more emotions than I've ever been used to.  It was intense and I couldn't stand being away from him.  We talked about things...marriage and kids and the whole nine yards.  I finally felt that I had met someone that I thought was my true equal.  He was...everything I ever wanted.

Then, four days ago, he comes to my home (with what I thought was the intent of spending time with me) and tells me that he's leaving me.  He says he needs time to take care of his life.  This is where you'll just have to believe that there's a lot going on for him right now.  He tells me how fucking amazing I am and how much I have to offer and how I've treated him better than any woman in his life ---- but...

Of course, I'm heartbroken.  Worse than that, in fact.  So much worse that one of my best friends had to save me from my bender of booze and sleeping pills (unintentional, of course, but dangerous nonetheless).

So we continue to talk for the next couple days and he tells me he's hurting, too and that it was so hard for him to do what he did.

I was SO SURE.  More sure of this than anything in my life and....STILL sure.  I called him every name I could and made him feel worse.  I pushed him into not even wanting to be my friend anymore.  I pushed him into needing to shut me out because he just couldn't take the heart break of figuring out how to love me and balance his life.

And then, Tuesday afternoon, I spoke to a very dear and trusted friend of mine.  He told me, "things that are meant to be are timeless and worthy of patience."  And at that single moment, everything clicked.

I have been such a selfish and awful person.  I have seen only my pain, my resentment and my loneliness.  I have been stubborn and mean.  I have caused him more pain to make myself feel better.  And I am so wrong.

This man gave me the BEST memories of my life.  I've never laughed so much or felt like smiling.  I've never felt so pretty and so worth something as I have when I was with him.  I've never felt truly safe, happy and perfect, until him.

When I hear songs and all the memories come flooding in, I shouldn't be unhappy.  I shouldn't feel like crying...I should be thankful that [whichever] God allowed me to experience his awesome love.  

It's amazing how things change into negative when you're hurting so badly.  Truth is, I'm still hurting.  I'm in complete agony.  But the fact is...I should smile and know that what I felt during those moments was the truest and most straightforward form of happiness.

A friend of mine said, "Well you could look at it this way; he got what he wanted."  He gave me no reason to believe that he didn't feel exactly what he said he felt.  So I have no reason to question it.  It wasn't about that (even though the comment made me feel horrible and cheap).  And...

If it is meant to be, then it *IS* timeless.  I just hope that my own selfishness hasn't messed it all up.  

I used to get these feelings of Deja Vu when I was with him and I realize now, that I got those feelings when I was acting selfishly.  It was the universe trying to tell me not to fuck it up again.  

I know that it sounds quite delusional...but I know that even still, he loves me.  And he knows that I ache for him.

I have nothing but time right now.  I'm not worried about having a husband or family or...anything.  All I want is my equal to return and balance me out again.  And I can wait a long, long time.  There really are things in life that are worth waiting for.  And so, I'm going to do that, with utmost devotion.  

And while I wait, I will be happy because of the amazing moments I shared with the most amazing man I know.  No matter how fleeting they may have been...or how long it may be until there are more.


  • Listening to: The Silence
  • Reading: into it all.
  • Watching: The world unfold.
  • Playing: with my heart strings.
  • Eating: from an empty plate.
  • Drinking: no more.


Add a Comment:
FootFetishGuy1961 Featured By Owner May 16, 2017  New Deviant
thanks for your posts...
Namco-NintendoFan-88 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ethereal Images Photography/VelvetEchoes, dear artist, literaturist, 'n nature/nude photographer gal! :hug:
Singing Singing Singing Singing Dance! Dance! Boogie! Boogie! Party Airborne

Good luck, and I hope you'll have a great birthday today!
Just remember that I too have a foot fetish, and I know all your girls/models/nude models have beautiful feet during their modelings! Heart
I also hope you're doing very awesome at all art, drawings, literature writings, 'n nature/nude photography updates; I love 'em! ;) (Wink) Heart
Thumbs Up Pringles Have your cake and eat it too Yummy pie!

Comments by:
Your foot fetish buddy,
Nelson C.,
7:35 P.M.
Los Angeles, CA ;) (Wink)

Since I wouldn't have been able to do some birthday muro drawings, I got you five extra drawings, so...
Believe it or not, five birthday muro drawing copies I made, of the three feet drawings, chibi Haruhi Suzumiya, and Mikuru Asahina wishing you one, so, wishes 'n' luck!
Click on them:……………
jackdornothing Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Your gallery is grandiose! It'll be a big source of inspiration for me!
allenjmiller Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009  Professional Photographer
well, isn't that special. thanks hun :heart:
VelvetEchoes Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2009
Yep. Might be gone over the 31st. Any chance you're coming back by on the flip?
allenjmiller Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2009  Professional Photographer
nah. going the north route on the way back. yellowstone, glacier, tetons, etc.

that's cool. next time.
cataclysm-666 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009  Professional General Artist
[link] reminded me of uuuu
VelvetEchoes Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2009
Haha that is awesome!
LaniNicole Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
VelvetEchoes Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009
Add a Comment: